Walk by faith not by Fear!

There is a five letter word that brings stress and anxiety which can lead to poor health!

A hint we are commanded not to walk this path and God does give a way out!

FEAR!

Let’s define fear…

1. an emotion experienced in anticipation in other words before something bad happens) of some specific pain or danger (usually accompanied by a desire to flee or flight).
2. An anxious feeling 
3. (I would like to add to this definition) a loss of control.

In this society of constant news, illness, loss and broken relationships it is easy to become fearful. Women in particular battle this emotion; stronghold. These verses are the remedy to fear and anxiety they are loaded with a rich diet of an anxiety free life!

Philippians 4:4-9 

⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹ Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Some notes about these verses, 

1.  Rejoice is repeated twice in one sentence. Since God has only one book for us to read for His guidance He does not waste a single word. Using rejoice twice is for emphasis. 
2. (…by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.) The “with thanksgiving” implies God will hear and answer our petition. Now, this is not saying every answer will be resounding yes. Sometimes for our protection God says wait or no. His will for our lives is always the best outcome.
3. As we present our prayers to God with a willing heart for His willand not oursto be done the outcome is peace.
4. The last section refers to the training of our minds. Think about good not bad and again the peace of God will be with you.

I am thankful that God has made me to be a bold person. Generally speaking,  I prefer to walk by faith and not by fear. I will myself to live this way as I have seen personally the ill effects of living in fear with some of my loved ones. 

However, I too struggled with fear many years ago…My story

I need to start with a back story so you can see the full picture.

In 1999 I delivered son number three.

When I had my sonogram for this precious child I hate to admit I was not happy to find out I was having another son. To be honest I came home from my appointment went into my bedroom and had a crying session, a pity party a why God moment. Well He told me why very clearly, I could hear my Heavenly father say these words to me, “ I am the creator of this child, you are but the vessel to bring forth this child and the tool to raise this child.” Well, that message was very clear to me! I quickly confessed my sin and determined I was meant to be a Mom of sons and at that moment gave up my rite to ever having a daughter!

Truth be told my third son has truly brought so much joy to my life and we have shared so many great adventures from bike riding in the woods, to fishing and recently takin a RV trip out West! I have often said I would be happy to raise 10 Evan’s!

On the day of his birth we all rejoiced at this little blue bundle God had blessed our family with on that September day. Life continued and my teenage sons marveled at the fact that this new baby was not a crier, slept well and smiled often!

When Evan was 10 months old I discovered baby number 4 was on the way. I right away thought it would be great for Evan to have a little brother to play with so close to his age. Truly I had given up my rite to having a daughter. God however had another plan!

As my blood work came back identifying the possibility of downs syndrome I was instructed to go to a sonogram clinic in Winchester VA. It is not that I would ever destroy a life but rather that I wanted us the parents and our three sons to be prepared should I be caring a downs baby. The day arrived and my husband and I went to the appointment. When I was on the table and the technician was about to start the sonogram she asked if I wanted to know the gender of the baby. I said sure, fully expecting her to say a boy. When she started the procedure she asked if I had other children and what gender they were? I answered three sons, at this she said “well, I am not allowed to say 100% so I will say 99.9% that this is a baby girl), apparently she was spread eagle!  I excitedly asked her if she was kidding and she said “no, take a look”! 

And the journey began to become a mom of a daughter!

During my pregnancy many people told me it probably would be a boy or at least a Tom Boy.

This is when I began to pray for a ballerina. I did this often and with conviction. It was not that I was thinking she would be a dancer necessarily but more that she would be to the right of a Tom Boy. My pregnancy went on without a hitch. When She finally decided to enter the world the timing was not the best. I was in my eldest son’s guidance counselor’s office when my water began to break, thankfully it was a trickle and not a gush! 

The fear set in the moment we came home from the hospital. I loved her so much I kept thinking God would take her away from me. As I write this I can see how ridicules this is, (God taking something because we loved it too much). Needless to say I could not shake this feeling of doom that I felt would fall on me at any moment. Now this was not characteristic of me. I had been through so much in my lifetime by this point and I had come to a place of complete trust in my Father. He had always been faithful during those days when my father was sick and dying as well as when I was raising two boys by myself. 

I can only say I think the enemy was messing with my, trying to rob me of my joy in finally having a daughter to love and cherish. I began to pray that God would bind the enemy and free me of this fear.  Once again God came through, even though it was in a strange way.

One day I was visiting a friend. I had both of my young children in the van with me. When I left to come home it was late afternoon so both of my children fell asleep it short order.

As I was coming through a four way stop, (I had the green light) another car turned left into my lane and broadsided my van on the door next to where Kara’s car seat was strapped into the vehicle. Both kids slept through the entire accident.  No one cried, was upset or hurt at all. Even a few days after the accident neither child suffered any discomfort. And me, God took this opportunity to assure me that He was the one protecting my children and I simply needed to trust Him with them. That day he healed me of the fear wrapped around my heart.

And about that prayer that my baby would be a ballerina…

When Kara was three I took her to see The Loudoun Ballet Companies Nutcracker. She was transfixed during the entire production. Her eyes did not leave that stage. When the curtain closed and the clapping subsided  I noticed my daughter was crying. When I sked her what was wrong she told me, “mommy I thought I was going to be dancing.” 

And the journey began..

Every day since she saw her first ballet production she asked me when she could start dancing. At age four I started taking her for a dance class once a week. Many times since that first show she asked me if she could dance in the Nutcracker, at age six I finally let her audition. She did very well and was cast as the cartwheel Bon Bon. After the dress rehearsal when we were walking to our van I asked her the silly question, “Well Kara, Bon Bon this year what will it be next year.” In her cheeky special way she said Bon Bon this year and Clara next year! I know mommy I am too little but someday!” Well that someday came when she was 14, it is a year we will never forget. She was the perfect Clara, many people said they felt they were at the party during the party scene as her acting drew the audience in. This is her final year in the beloved Nutcracker this year she will grace the stage as Dew Drop, Soldier Doll, Petite Four and Snow Flake. It has been a great run and her dreams continue…Now she desires to dance for the Lord in a Christian Dance Company and after a few years as a pro she wants to dedicate herself to teach many more little girls who want to grow up to be Clara!  

So you see, my fear was silly and incompetent! My God brought His child to existence and had a special plan for her life. As she leaves this spring to be a trainee with a Christian ballet company, Ballet Magnificat! in Jackson Mississippi I will cling to the fact that God loves her even more then I do and trust Him with her life! And thank Him daily for giving me the privilege of being her Mom. What an incredible journey it has been, watching her become the dancer she is and the strong faith that she has.